I am nearing the end of my college days. Well, I'm not that close. But 2 1/2 semesters seems pretty close to me. So I've decided to get some thoughts out that perhaps some will find amusing, helpful or whatever... Maybe even get some feedback on what to do as I meet tall brick walls that I'll somehow get over. But by this time next year I will have returned to you and your inhabitants, making myself another member of a hopefully productive society. Unfortunately, I'm already freaking out about this. Hence, the perplexing.
Right now I'm a student at the wonderful BYUI. If you have just happened upon my blog and have never heard of such a school, it is a Church school of about 12000 students. Pretty decent size. But there's a reason you haven't heard of it: it is located in the remote town of Rexburg, ID. I graduated high school from an awesome school in Northern VA, where the majority of students go to other East Coast schools. I can see that I have one leg up on my education: my tuition is significantly smaller than these other schools because the majority of funding for this school comes from members of my Church. And despite the excellent education I am receiving here, I know that the paper that says "Graduate of Brigham Young University Idaho" doesn't really compare to the one that says "Radford" or "Mary and Washington". And it's just a piece of paper!
So you might see where I'm goin with this, World. I'm getting anxious about graduating because I'm beginning to fear that there is no place for me amongst the trillions of other people out there. Did I mention I'm studying music?! I don't know why I set myself up for a life of poverty (unless I marry a rich farm boy). Ok. I do. I love music. I adore music. I love surrounding myself in it: in orchestra, music history, teaching. Any other path would've been wrong for me. But BYUI isn't exactly known for its music school. While it's very good and great musicians have come from here, in the end, it is quite mediocre in comparison to, I dunno, Rice, UT, Julliard, Arizona... I could go on.
So what do I do and where do I go to do it? I don't see myself stickin around here after I graduate. Ideally, I'd move back to Virginia or Texas at some point. But what would I do there? Work? Work where? Does a Bachelors in Flute Performance get me a decent paying job anywhere? Or do I go to grad school? Yet another reason to freak out. I'm not exactly looking forward to the many letters of rejection that I'll more than likely receive. Or do I, as is so popular at this school, get married and start poppin out babies while my husband finishes his degree? This is a tough subject... and it technically isn't an option since I can't force that... It's just a facetious thought.
Anyways... These are just some thoughts that have been sittin with me for quite some time. We'll see if I make a decision before I graduate... April 2011, I see you, and here I come.
Song of the post: Little Secrets by Passion Pit
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